


together we sang

by panlesters



Series: seasons of love [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, Being found out, Coming Out, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, i rly cant go 2 seconds without writing smthn about kath, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22652563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panlesters/pseuds/panlesters
Summary: "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." -Billy, age 4 (1 of 2)
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: seasons of love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628086
Comments: 16
Kudos: 86





	together we sang

**Author's Note:**

> this one doesn't really fit the quote so well but there's gonna be a second instalment that will match and hopefully fit better. i just rly wanted to write this one  
> enjoy! 
> 
> title from ready now by dodie

Phil never leaves his phone unlocked. _Never_. There’s too much on there that he has to hide. Texts from people who know about him, texts to Dan. Even Dan’s name in his phone would throw up a suspicion to anyone who could just be reading over his shoulder. It’s ingrained in his mind at this point: he doesn’t leave his phone unlocked unattended where prying eyes could see it.

Except, this time, he did. He’s been texting Dan, and there’s no one else around, and he’s about to start cooking. So he leaves his phone unlocked while he prepares his meal. It makes everything easier.

He’s definitely alone in the kitchen. Without a doubt. He turns around to the stove, to give his stir-fry a quick mix and chuck the noodles in the pan of hot water, and when he turns around, his mother is there. He follows her eyes to his phone, and pales.

Maybe the messages on his phone are just normal, friendly ones. Maybe he can lie and say that the heart next to Dan’s name at the top of the screen doesn’t mean anything at all. But his mother catches his eye, and he knows he’s been found out.

He’s lunging for his phone then, grabbing it before his mum sees anything else. He doesn’t even read the messages, just locks his phone and shoves it in his pocket, turning his back to his mum decisively and hoping that she’s gone when he turns back around.

“Phil,” she says gently. There’s almost a hint of pity in her voice. He hates it.

He doesn’t move. He can’t face her, now that she knows what secret he’s been hiding from her this whole time.

“Phil, can you look at me please, love?”

Phil swallows, turns, grabs a plate from the cupboard next to him. He does his best to ignore his mum, and tries to move around the kitchen and sort his meal out without being cornered by her. She doesn’t try and stop him, at least. She gives him his space. His throat feels like it’s about to close up and there are tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He’s managed to dish up his meal before she speaks again.

“Phil, can we just-”

“Mum, for God’s sake, would you mind your own fucking business?” he grabs a fork from the side and storms out the kitchen. There are already tears falling from his eyes by the time he reaches his room. He’s shoving inside, slamming the door and falling on his bed.

The first thing he does is text Dan. He’s not even sure he wants to read the messages his mum has seen. He supposes he has to.

**_Dan <3: work was so fucking boring today im exhausted _ **

**_Phil: Tell me about it baby_ **

**_Dan <3: there was nothing to do people kept asking me where shit was and i think i told someone the stationery was in the freezer section _ **

**_Dan <3: this sucks i miss u so much _ **

**_Dan <3: i cant wait for christmas im gonna get you all to myself again_ **

**_Dan <3: do u think ur parents would mind if we just stayed in bed for the whole week _ **

**_Dan <3: r u even still there _ **

**_Dan <3: maybe we can even get them to leave for a bit and we can be as loud as we want ;) _ **

**_Dan <3: phil? _ **

Phil feels sick to his stomach. He’s not even sure how much of that his mum must have seen, but he feels like it’s pretty self-explanatory. He quickly texts Dan a message to call him, and pulls up Skype on his laptop.

From the way Dan answers, Phil thinks he might have interpreted his message in the wrong way. Dan’s lying on his side, hair a mess, with a smug look on his face. He jumps up as soon as he sees Phil through the screen, demeanour changing completely.

“Phil, oh my God, are you okay?”

Phil didn’t even realise how much he was crying until Dan asks, and he sniffles a little.

“Dan, I’m such a fucking idiot,” he says quietly.

“Why, Phil?” there’s a tenderness in Dan’s voice and it makes Phil want to melt into his arms. “What happened?”

“I left my fucking phone unlocked,” he pauses to huff out a breath, “And my mum saw your messages.”

“Oh shit,” Dan murmurs. He stares at his hands for a second. “Is there any way she might’ve thought it wasn’t… what it was?”

“I mean,” Phil rubs his eyes harshly with his sleeves. “I’ve got a heart next to your name and I called you baby and you said we could be as loud as we wanted.” He looks up at Dan through the webcam. “She’s not stupid.”

He hears a knock on his door then, and it peeks open a little until Kath’s head pops round.

“Uh,” Phil says, “I’m gonna have to go, Dan.”

“It’s okay,” Kath says, “He can stay.”

Dan and Phil look at each other like deer in the headlights but Phil knows Dan has been trying too hard to impress Kath to disobey her now. Phil pulls his getting-cold meal on to his lap and starts eating so that he has something to do with his hands, and he and Dan share another look.

“So I think you boys might have some explaining to do, hm?”

Phil takes a deep breath and puts his fork back down. “Mum, I’m…” his voice is shaking. “I’m gay.” He feels like he might throw up. Dan’s presence, even across the country, is calming, but he wishes Dan was here now to hold his hand and calm his nerves. “Dan’s my boyfriend. He… he came to stay with me when you and Dad went away in October, and we’ve been official ever since.”

The smile Kath gives him is warm, and genuine. It calms his fears in an instant, and he softens. He’s not really sure what he was afraid of, in that moment. Right now, all he feels is love and acceptance.

“What about you, Dan?” she asks. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“It’s okay,” he says softly. “I, uh. I’m not really as sure as Phil is about… being gay. I just know that I really like him a lot.”

Phil’s face lights up then. He can feel himself going a little red from the sudden affection, and when he looks round his mum is watching him. She’s glowing.

“Well,” she says, turning back to Dan on the screen. “That’s all that matters, isn’t it?”

After Dan has hung up, about an hour later, Kath and Phil sit silently for a few minutes before Kath speaks up.

“Phil.” It’s almost silent.

“Yeah.”

She looks up at him. He’s staring at his laptop screen as if Dan is still there.

“You know I love you, more than anything in the world, right?”

Phil doesn’t look up. He knows he’ll cry again if he does.

“I understand why you didn’t tell me before,” she says quietly. “It’s big, and it’s scary.” Phil nods. “But I will always, _always_ support you. In everything you do.” She reaches over and takes his hand. “I love you, Philip. I always will. I hope you know I’m nothing but over the moon for what you and Dan have.”

Phil finally looks up, and allows himself to be engulfed in a hug from Kath. He can feel the tears start to spill, but he lets them. This is all he ever wanted.

-

Phil goes into Manchester on his own to meet Dan at Christmas. They stop at Starbucks, as has become tradition. They take the bus back to Rawtenstall, and Phil takes his hand as they walk back to Phil’s from the bus stop. He can feel Dan shaking, and moves closer to wrap an arm round his waist. Dan’s told him how nervous he is for this trip. It’s more daunting now, he says, trying to impress Kath and Nigel as a _boyfriend_.

Phil knows he has nothing to worry about. He’s told him as much so many times over Skype, but now he knows Dan will have to experience that before he really believes it.

Kath is putting a roast in the oven when Dan and Phil walk in. She looks up as they walk into the kitchen, and gives Dan a warm, loving smile.

“Dan,” she says softly. Dan looks like he thinks he should be shorter. He drops his head and hunches his back a little. “Come here, love.”

She opens her arms and Dan accepts the hug. They stand there for a few moments before they each pull away.

“Now, Dan,” she says. Her voice is nothing but fond and full of love. “There’s no need to look so anxious, sweetie. You’ve made my boy very happy, and I hope you continue to do so.” She gives him a wink and carries on. “You’re always welcome here, and you’ll always be accepted here.”

Phil watches Dan wipe away a single tear. He tells Phil later that night that he finally understands what people mean when they talk about found family. He’s found it here.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! comments are appreciated, come scream at me @panlesters on tumblr


End file.
